You’ve done all you can to overcome your problem. And yet, day after day, it sits there like a faithful dog. Waiting patiently for you to get out of bed so it can pounce on you, lick your face, and leave hair all over your fancy work clothes.
By definition, overcoming is the act prevailing over, overwhelming, or overpowering something. When we overpower our emotions, we win and can keep fighting for another day. Once we have won, we can walk away and leave the problem there.
But sometimes, something cannot be overcome. Sometimes, we have to find a way to cope, to manage, to live with, to work with a problem. Let me give you an example…
I have mentioned before that I have ADHD and some form of dyslexia. Brain chemistry cannot be permanently changed, it can only be managed. I can take drugs to help reorganize, reduce, or increase the malfunctioning or missing chemicals. However, if I stopped taking the medications, my brain would go back to the way it was before. Medications help, but I still have to manage the emotional difficulties associated with this problem.
When two people tango, someone always leads, and it’s usually the guy. Each partner has to “lock their frame” by making their arms strong and stiff in a semi-circle. Like this:
The leading partner gets to decide where the dancing couple is going, when they spin, or twirl, or dip. The locked frame, the subtle pressures of the hands, certain movements indicate when the following partner is to move and where. When managing your problem, you should be the leading partner, not the other way around. You get to decide when you dip, and twirl, and go left.
But, you have decide that you want to lead, not follow. You have decide that you want to make progress, not wallow in self-pity, or shame, or whatever you do with your problem. You have to decide that you want to improve. That’s the key.
Tell me, do you have a problem that you have to manage?