Tag Archives: destruction

Tower of Babel- The destruction process

Genesis 11

The Tower of Babel

1 At one time all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words. 2 As the people migrated to the east, they found a plain in the land of Babylonia and settled there.

3 They began saying to each other, “Let’s make bricks and harden them with fire.” (In this region bricks were used instead of stone, and tar was used for mortar.) 4 Then they said, “Come, let’s build a great city for ourselves with a tower that reaches into the sky. This will make us famous and keep us from being scattered all over the world.”

5 But the Lord came down to look at the city and the tower the people were building. 6 “Look!” he said. “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! 7Come, let’s go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other.”

8 In that way, the Lord scattered them all over the world, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way he scattered them all over the world.

I wanted to write some prosy thing about this process, but I just don’t have it in me.  Instead, I am going to share the email I sent to someone who is sort of counseling me at the moment.  Here goes:

Phew.  This has been a tough week.  Still reeling from the smashed tower and wondering what to do next, the day after the last image I sent you (which would have been Wednesday) I sat down again and asked the Lord to revel himself to me.  This is what I got:

Part 1- No other Gods before me.
The scripture is Exodus 20:2-17.  The purple squiggly on top is Sovereign God.  The bottom left hand corner spiral is the Holy Spirit.  As the colors spiral inward the Holy Spirit is infusing himself with me.  I am in the center in the red.  I am not sure if the red represents anger/rage, or my heart, maybe both.  If you notice the majority of the spiral is in blue and moves to purple then to red.  All of the words of the scripture are moving inward from the HS into the center.  I felt that God was making clear that I am putting something before him.  But I really did not want to know what.

Part 2- Ouch! That hurts!
I met with someone I look up to on Thursday because I wanted to express some hurt and anger about some things that had happened.  I had something I was holding onto for the past 5 years that was still hurting me.  I wanted to be able to let go, but God wasn’t letting me let go.  So, I finally (after much goading from a friend) met with this person.  She told me she thought I had an attitude problem, an anger problem, and she I was held back from going forward in leadership because of this.  She said that I can have my opinions, and even feel anger, but she said that I am not very honoring in my approach to expressing my anger.  This, of course, hurt me and my ego.  I also felt frustrated because I only really feel anger is when I feel an injustice has been served to  me.  For a couple of days I felt distraught, anger, frustration, and more anger.  And I really did not want to ask God about this because I was sure I wasn’t going to like what I heard.

Part 3- The dream
Right before I woke up Saturday morning I had a most vivid dream.  Usually there are 3 signs that the dream was from God: 1. It was vivid, 2. It stays with me all day, 3. I can still remember it the next day.  Here is how the dream went: My husband was carrying our child because I could not after a certain part of the pregnancy.  We were in a hotel room that was more like an apartment.  It was time to deliver the baby, but it had to be done by c-section and I was the only one there to do the procedure.  I felt a little panicked, rushed, but confident that I could handle a dangerous procedure on my own.  I was rushing around to get the room ready putting out towels to soak the inevitable flow of blood and for the baby.  I was also changing my clothes into something more appropriate for handling surgery.  As I was removing my stockings, my husband said that he was waiting for someone to arrive.  He had called on another nurse, someone more qualified to handle the surgery.  I was very upset with him and threw a little temper tantrum.  I said, “I can’t believe you called someone else!!”  He said that someone who was qualified for this needed to be there to handle “multiple points of infection”.  I immediately awoke from this dream in a panic.  I knew almost immediately this was from God.

Part 4- The Revelation
Yesterday, I sat down and wrote out some thoughts I was having because I felt like the faith issue that you talked with me about, and the anger issue were related.  The dream was key to making that connection, but I still didn’t know why.  And, I was feeling angry with God.  So I wrote out a few things that I was feeling including the dream.  The first question I posed to myself was “What are the correlations?” between the anger issue and the faith issue.  Then I wrote out the possibilities which are:
  • I feel angry that I cannot just “handle” things myself.
  • God is saying he is “qualified” to handle things, and I am not.
  • I feel angry at injustices
  • Sometimes the lack of blessing feels like an injustice, especially when I feel that I have done what is required of me.
  • I feel angry at God.
  • I feel mistrustful of others.
  • I feel misunderstood.
  • What is the root of this?
  • I have an “I can (and now I think “must” is part of this) take care of myself” attitude.  That doesn’t jive with God.  I feel I have, and continue to be, treated unfairly, and unjustly by others.
  • Am I my own God (in this area)?
Then I wrote: Why do I care about injustice and fairness towards myself?  To the point of expressing anger?  Why do I feel God has treated my unjustly?  I feel I don’t deserve what has happened to me and angry at God for not stopping it.   Which is ridiculous since a deep understanding of pain makes me more sympathetic (and empathetic) toward others pain.  I believe this but find it difficult to accept.  Is this where “be the exclamation point, not the question mark” comes in?

So, yesterday afternoon, I sat down with my sister and we talked about why we want so badly to be heard.  We agreed it was because we weren’t heard as children, or as adults in our younger years.  I am driven to keep making my point until I feel I have been heard, which leads others to believe that I am trying to “get my way”, which is not my usual intention.  Then I began to wonder if, as Christians, we have a “right’ to be heard.  Meaning: Do others really need to hear my thoughts and opinions?  My sister felt that in some situations it was important to be understood.  But, perhaps in most situations it was not so important to be heard by others.  Then she came up with this scripture, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for giving necessary teaching, and for grace to those who give ear.” Ephesians 4:29.  Then I found the rest of that chapter “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:30, 31.

Part 5- The Conclusion
Obviously, I need to rely solely on the Holy Spirit to guide my words when I feel strongly about something, which, somewhere deep inside of me, makes me unhappy.  So I am coming to grips the full meaning of this revelation.  I expect that I will be fully on board with this soon enough.  So here is my conclusions on this matter:
  • It takes faith to trust that God is fully capable of handling whatever comes my way.
  • I need to rely on Him for revelation on how to handle a situation
  • I am not God in my life.  Only He must be.
  • My words must be tempered with love, honoring, cherishing, encouraging, full of grace.
  • Since I am woman of strong opinion and passion, I must go to Him EVERY SINGLE TIME I have a struggle to temper my reactions before I speak or do anything.

So there you have it.  Like I said: Phew!
Advertisements

Walled In

At the beginning of the movie Labyrinth the main character, Sarah, has to rescue her baby brother from the Goblin King lest the baby be turned into a goblin.  In order to rescue her brother she has to successfully navigate a very complicated, confusing, ever-changing maze.  At her first encounter with the maze, both directions seemed to have no end.  As she walked and walked, the maze kept going and going.  She had to yield to the fact that she could not figure the maze out on her own.  In short, she needed help.

Life is like that maze.  Wrong turns, confusing passages, trickery, and dead ends.  Out of all of the things that can happen in life, dead ends are the hardest to do anything about.  When I reach a dead end, there is no where to go.  I suppose I could go backward, but what would that get me?  I can’t go forward because the wall is too high to scale and too thick to get through.  I could just camp out there waiting for the wall to crumble on it’s own.

I’m sorry, but those situations just aren’t what I want.  I want to move forward, but I can’t do that on my own.  I need someone to come along and destroy this wall so I can move on.  During a recent bible study with my life group, we were discussing Colossians 3:1-17.  We were talking about how to deal with sin in our lives, how to live life according to God’s plan.  I got an image of a walled-in maze.  God made it clear that in order to move forward, the wall needed to be destroyed.  And, He was the only on that could do anything about that wall.

Lord, I pray that you would destroy the wall in front of me.  Please, BLOW IT UP!  Amen.

Are you facing a wall right now that you need God to destroy?

Thoughts and Feelings

The children used to run rampant through out the grand, old
mansion that they call home. Wild and free they would pursue
whatever looked good to them at the moment. Furniture was
repeatedly knocked over, glass broken, drapes climbed, flower beds
ruined. The Caregiver was beside herself trying to reign the
chaos in. There were so many of them. Often she would
find them with lying on the floor with manic looks of glee on their
face, totally spent from what they considered grand and glorious
adventures. Or, they would refuse to go to bed and find new
ways to bring terror to the Caregivers heart. She knew
something needed to be done, but had not a clue as to what to do
with these unruly children. Sometimes she wished that they
would just grow up and go away forever. But, not really.
She loved them all dearly. After one particularly exhausting
day, the Caregiver decided to call a Friend. She was
desperate, she told him, and really needed his help. In the
blink of an eye, the Friend was at the door of the mansion.
He took the poor, bedraggled Caregiver into her room and
asked her what was the matter. The Caregiver poured out
her heart to her Friend. Tears flowed freely as she went over
how the children behaved and how she was worn out trying to keep
track of them day after day. She was concerned that they
would hurt themselves, or ruin the mansion making it uninhabitable,
and then what would she do? With an expression that radiated
Love, the Friend gently explained that she needed help from the
only person that could make these children behave, their Father.
The Friend said he would give the Father a call. No sooner
had the Friend called the Father than he appeared in the foyer.
He took one look at the place and called out one word,
“Children!”. The constant noise of chaos and destruction
suddenly ceased and all was eerily quiet. Then with a rush
all of the children from every corner of the property came rushing
in to the foyer. Oh, what a mess they were. Some were
covered from head-to-toe in dirt with sticks and leaves in their
hair. Some had been in the kitchen and were covered in flour
and other foodstuffs. A few looked quiet and sullen, or
afraid, these children had barely budged from their rooms.
The Father took one look at his children and very quietly
said, “Come with me.” One-by-one he took them into their
rooms, talked with them, salved their wounds, gave them a bath, and
fed them. Then he put them all to bed. It had been a
long time since all of the children had slept soundly through the
night, but the Father’s presence calmed and soothed them into a
peaceful slumber. The Father then came to the Caregiver. He
could see in her eyes the years of weariness and desperation.
So, he drew her a nice hot bath, brought her a nice supper,
and gently helped her into bed. The Friend kept watch all
night long as everyone slept. The next morning, everyone gathered
together in the kitchen. As breakfast was made the Father,
with a stern, but gentle expression, explained that things would be
different from now on. The children had been neglecting their
duties for too long, and their behavior was unacceptable.
Starting today, the house would be cleaned and put back in
order. No more running rampant. No more destruction.
No more gleeful chaos. This day, their Father
explained, was the beginning of a new way of life.
After a hearty breakfast, the children set off to do their
work. The Caregiver was surprised to find that some of the
wilder children actually looked relieved. Apparently, all
that they needed was their Father. At the end of the day, the
children looked exhausted, but happy. They had their supper
and went straight to bed to prepare for another day’s work the next
day. The children began to fall into a peaceful pattern of
work, and when the work of restoring of the mansion had slowed
down, play. Nowadays, the children gather in the parlor after
supper. Some sit and snooze by the fire, some read a good
book, other’s chat about the day’s events and how they felt about
them. The Father had taught the Caregiver how to manage so
many children at once. They all had their special needs and
their special jobs. Now the Caregiver, is able to fully use
her gifts to coordinate the efforts of the children to maintain
their home. She even joins in their play every once in a
while.

Do your
feelings run rampant like unruly
children?