I had a bad day yesterday. It took extra effort to stay sane and focused and not allow the dissociation to overwhelm me. Writing what little I did write was very hard for me. The good news is that I have a counseling appointment with a professional tonight.
The healing journey can begin…again.
You know that expression “darkest hour is just before the dawn”? I am in that moment. I cannot see what is going on right now, nor what is coming. I simply trust that it is good because I have nowhere else to go. It is only the grace of God holding back the flood of emotions and feelings that can and will overwhelm me during my counseling sessions. They should overwhelm me in God’s presence, because that is the place of healing. My little 3-year old self cannot, and does not want to, hide any longer in the shadows. Now is her time to come out and be present. Now is her time to be part of the bigger picture I call my life. It is time for this final piece to come back to me and be part of my life.
I am waiting for the dawn.