Tag Archives: overcome

And now…a little bit about me

Everything is a process.  I am still in the process of overcoming a multitude of sins on my part and my parents part.  It is really difficult to say out loud things that might hurt other people.  So, I sit here and struggle with how much to say, and how much to reveal about myself this early in the game.  Sometimes, I even doubt myself, my story.

And then…

…well, I look back at all of the work that God has accomplished in me.  I look back at who I used to be and who I am now.  I see the differences in my personality, my thought patterns, and my way of relating to others.  And I ask myself, how can my story NOT be real?  How can I NOT share the things that MIGHT hurt other people?

I need to share for your benefit, and for mine.

I was born in 1970 to two hurting people.  My mother gave birth to me carrying her own issues.  Some of those issue were passed on.  Some of which she continued to act out for the rest of her life which ended in an accidental overdose in her early 50s.  My father I know less about, he is more of an enigma.  My parents divorced when I was about 6.  My mother remarried when I was about 9.  I really liked my stepfather, and I’m pretty sure he liked me.  I grew up confused and full of self-doubt.  My mother did a pretty good job of contributing to these two elements.  By the time I graduated from high school I really had no clue who I was, what I wanted from life, or anything else for that matter.  I sunk into my first deep depression with a touch of dissociation.  I spent the whole summer after graduating depressed, and conflicted.

I eventually got a job and met my first husband through a mutual friend.  My mother and I got into an argument, she tried to hit  me, so I left home suddenly at age 19 and moved in with my boyfriend.  Unbeknownst to  me, I was pregnant with my first son at the time.  Not long after this sudden change in my universe, I started to experience flashbacks.  I would get “stuck” in a frame of mind that was both completely foreign and completely familiar.  I had no clue what was going on.

Fortunately, I started into counseling right away.  I have been at it for 22 years.   With the help of God, and other people, I have changed.  I have been through many different kinds of counseling, individual psychotherapy, group counseling, inner  healing, deliverances, to name a few.  As a matter of fact,  I just finished yet another turn at counseling with a wonderful person.

My life has been an uphill battle.  I have struggled with Dissociative Identity Disorder (a total of 7 personalities of which are now fully integrated), sugar addiction, self-doubt, low self-esteem, flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, clinical depression,  ADHD, and few other things.

I have been on Prozac, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, and a couple of other medications I can’t remember over the years.  All helpful and useful tools for helping me with my struggle to overcome.

Right now I am not on any meds and am not in counseling.  I feel pretty good,  most of the time.  I still struggle madly with anxiety and depression at times, but God and therapy gets me through.

I am almost done my Bachelor’s program in psychology and will be moving into a Master’s program for counseling at a local university.  The goal is to professionally help others the way I have been helped.  I now know that I was born with a gift of counseling and teaching.  I must be what I was meant to be.

Annnnnd, I think I will stop here for now.  I will reveal more information about myself as time goes on, especially as they pertain to what I am talking about.

Thanks for reading!

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Tell me your thoughts…

Emotional couch potatoes don’t get much done.

Did you know that?  Did  you know you are the master of your psyche, your internal universe, not it’s slave?  Is that a brand-new thought for you?  Well, that’s okay.  Go on and read awhile and let the sun rise on this brand new seed I am planting in your garden of thoughts.

I thought I would address what I mean by “be an overcomer”.  First, let’s define “to overcome“.  According to the New American Oxford Dictionary the definition is:

overcome |ˌōvərˈkəm|verb ( past -came; past part. -come) [ trans. ]succeed in dealing with (a problem or difficulty) : she worked hard to overcome her paralyzing shyness.

  • defeat (an opponent); prevail : without firing a shot they overcame the guards | [ intrans. ] we shall overcome.
  •  (usu. be overcome) (of an emotion) overpower or overwhelm : she was obviously overcome withexcitement.

ORIGIN Old English ofercuman (see over- , come ).

The New Testament Greek word for overcome is Nikao, which means:

  • to conquer
  • to carry off the victory, come off victorious
  • of Christ, victorious over all His foe
  • of Christians, that hold fast their faith even unto death against the power of their foes, and temptations and persecutions
  • when one is arraigned or goes to law, to win the case, maintain one’s cause

“Overcomer” is not an actual word.  But, if you go with it, it means to be a person that overcomes.  A conqueror, a warrior, a fighter, a mountain climber.  I think  you get the point.

Yesterday, I talked about the idea that you can change something in your emotions and your way of thinking if you want to.  Overcoming, or conquering, something requires a couple of key elements.  First,  you have to recognize that there is a problem to start with.  Second, you have to WANT to overcome that problem.  These two things go hand in hand.  These two elements are linked inextricably together. If  you recognize the problem, but don’t want to change, you, well, won’t change.  If  you want to change, but don’t recognize the problem you might as well be climbing up a mountain blindfolded.

Another crucial part of this process is to recognize that you have to be an active participant in overcoming.  There is no such thing as passively overcoming a  problem.  You can’t “wait it out”.  All the wishes in the world won’t make a problem “magically” disappear.  Warriors don’t win wars by sitting on their couches and complaining about their enemy.  Or by fooling themselves into believing there is no enemy.  They see their enemy, they envision the battle and their role in the battle.  They get to know their enemy’s ways.  They train.  They prepare.  They get out there and fight back.  That requires belief in the idea that you are an active participant in your psyche.  You are the master, not the slave.

You have to fight to win.

Let me repeat that, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT TO WIN!

Say this out loud to yourself, “I have to fight to win!”

Say it again, only louder.

And again.

And again.

Is it starting to sink in?

Good.

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So tell me, are you ready to pick up your sword?